Falling in love is just the first step. We’re taught to seek our “soul mate” and find “true love” but the most important lessons are too often left unstated. Committing to a relationship is a big and often wonderful decision. But, like everything else worth having, love requires work. It requires both partners to accept their responsibilities.

Without Doing the Work, Love Becomes Lazy

Love means never having to say you’re lazy. Nothing survives indifference or neglect. This goes triple for love. Romantic love is all about paying attention. By taking nothing for granted, we assure that our compatibility evolves. Without compatibility, love is left to wither. This takes hard work but it is quite possible for us to choose energy over laziness.

10 Ways to Energize Your Relationship

  1. Communication

Healthy communication lays the groundwork for new energy. Your individual needs never stop evolving. Thus, it’s essential that you both commit to transparent discussions on a regular basis. This foundation is the best way to avoid laziness.

  1. Gratitude

Right here, in this very moment, you have plenty to appreciate about your partner and your relationship. The root of many couple issues is unmet (or unrealistic) expectations. Gratitude is the path towards letting go of too many expectations.

  1. Humor

Why so serious? Of course, there’s a time and a place for no-nonsense gravity. All those other times, however, are fertile ground for giggles, smiles, and making silly memories.

  1. Celebration

There is never a shortage of reasons to celebrate together. The big occasions are obvious but why not keep track of the anniversaries and accomplishments that usually slip under the radar? What feels celebration-worthy to you?

  1. Intimacy

This is not only about your sex life. From cuddling to hand-holding to sustained eye contact to a gentle kiss on the forehead, each moment offers us the opportunity to deepen our bond.

  1. Independence

You can be a great team. You can also be strong, independent individuals. Be sure to cultivate rich lives outside of your coupledom.

  1. Self-Love

Treating yourself with love is a powerful way to keep love growing in your connections with others. You are announcing to yourself and others that you are worthy of such attention. Turn self-care into a daily ritual — something you and your partner can both do!

  1. Patience

Life can be infuriating at times. No one deserves your patience more than your partner. They get to see the full range of you — and vice versa. We are all flawed by design. This is not a personal glitch. It’s reality. Cultivate patience and ask for patience.

  1. Empathy

Connected to the concept of patience is empathy. Even in the most frustrating couple moments, do not lose sight of how deeply you care for your significant other. Try your best to always see their side of things by understanding what their needs might be.

  1. Adventure

However you define it, “adventure” is like fuel for your connection. Challenge yourselves to step out of your collective comfort zone and let loose.

Does Your Relationship Need its Own Personal Trainer?

When we sense that laziness has compromised our physical health, what do we do? Many of us join a gym. Even better, we hire a trainer. Working with a skilled professional enables us to progress more quickly. We also learn the skills needed to stave off potential compromises in the future. All this can be said about couples counseling.

Committing as a team to regular therapy sessions is like a love workout. You may struggle and sweat at times. But the results keep you coming back. Love requires us to not leave anything to chance. Having a mediator and guide is the proven path for keeping your relationship energized.


Posted by Counseling Wise on September 10, 2018