I remember years ago an ex boyfriend of mine who was a photographer became interested in taking photos of murder victims. I asked him why he was so interested in this and he said he was curious about how anger can result in such a drastic reaction. Considering this, I think about all of us who have said and done things we later regretted and wished we could take back. I would suspect that many of the people who committed murder out of anger feel deep remorse, and unfortunately have no ability to take back what they did, and they have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Repeating Negative Reactions
Thank goodness most of us don’t have such drastic results from our anger. However, many people have told me how their negative reactions have destroyed their families, relationships, lost them their jobs, landed them in jail etc. In retrospect, many of us come to understand that the “crime” did not necessarily justify the reaction, or rather, the reaction’s repercussions were greater than intended, either for ourselves or for others. Yet, in spite of knowing this, we still have trouble making different choices and continue repeating similar destructive behaviors.
What Are We Really Reacting To?
It helps to understand what it is we are reacting to and why; what needs are not being met that stimulates the anger. If we can begin to understand what is at the root of our reaction we may be able to make different choices, which will hopefully lead to more positive results. There is often justifiable reasons for our anger, but the reaction we can sometimes have can far outweigh the incident. Don’t we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to understand more about our reactions so we can have greater possibility for understanding and connection?