Understanding these obstacles to long-term love
No relationship is perfect.
Lasting love can be work and each partnership has its share of unique obstacles.
Still, you and your partner aren’t as alone as you may feel.
There are several key issues facing many couples that can pose significant challenges and compromise your connection.
Are the following 5 relationship problems present in your relationship?
The first step in tackling them is recognizing them.
Here’s what you need to know:
Problem #1: Poor Communication
That last comment hangs in the air between you. Again.
Maybe nothing is said. Ever.
Perhaps everything is fine. You think.
Whether you scream them, avoid them, or never make time to get to them, there are problems to face and things to say. And how you say them matters.
Those important issues between you are best talked-out thoroughly and respectfully. Silence coupled with resentment festers and erodes your connection.
Repetitive arguments build walls instead of emotional support.
It’s okay to disagree.
If communication is problematic, commitment and couples counseling can help.
Problem #2: Lack of Quality Time
One of the most appealing draws of a committed relationship is the idea of being valued and desired by someone meaningful to you.
Relationships grow and blossom with time and attention. Or they wither from neglect.
We make time for the things that matter to us. It hurts when we don’t feel we are important enough to be a priority in our partner’s life.
Unfortunately, hurt often leads to resentment. Resentment can lead to fights or withdrawal.
Withdrawal is the opposite of the closeness you crave.
Try to carve out a few moments every day to reconnect.
Problem #3: Altered Expectations
Cohabitation. Marriage. Promotions. Unemployment. Relocation. Children. Empty Nest.
Change happens.
Often, we don’t recognize how much it will affect our relationships.
A life together means that change is inevitable. Problems arise when couples fight it.
The objective support of an experienced counselor may be welcomed guidance through difficult seasons in your relationship.
Problem #4: Money
More than disputes over a bank account, credit card, or a stash of cash, money problems are usually deeply connected to issues of power, trust, and security.
Are you and your partner clear on your financial responsibilities individually and to each other?
It isn’t uncommon for one person’s expectations to differ significantly from his or her partner’s. A lot of tension and misunderstanding can arise from a lack of clarity regarding spending, economic goals, and fiscal habits. Sharing money requires cooperation and teamwork to keep problems in check.
Problem #5: Sexual Mismatch
Just because you love each other doesn’t mean the sexual energy between you is a fit.
Sex is a big deal in a relationship. Physical touch, intimacy, and all the feel-good experiences that accompany sex are important to lasting love.
Unfortunately, as time goes on, couples can downplay its importance or push sexual connection to the back burner.
Has life interrupted the moments that used to spark passion between you?
If so, one or both of you may be missing the chemistry that helped cement your bond.
Without efforts to plan for intimacy, mismatched timing and lack of awareness may be mistaken for rejection or apathy.
When couples experience differences in sex drive, sexual ability, or perceptions regarding their own desirability, the assistance of a good therapist may help turn things around.
All relationships are bound to run into obstacles along the way.
If you look closely, you can avoid the most common pitfalls.
Soon you’ll learn to navigate safely toward the relationship that’s perfect for you.
by Laura Olsen